I’m not totally delusional! I know she’s a hallucination, I mean how else would I be with someone who loves me?

Could be, but in my experience that phrase is never followed by something good. :/

Yeah, it’s short for “miss me with that independent shit, pay up!”

Username checks out

Do you mind elaborating a bit there? I mean I know people say birds are just government surveillance drones, but even if that were true you’d have “birds” too for the cats to kill in excess.

I don’t get the cars thing either. Like I know us Americans are absolute assholes in every single respect, but I’d be hard pressed to find someone who actively aims to run over cats. How is that different elsewhere?

Not everyone can do that unfortunately as it is illegal. We’re “forced” to have a lunch break, which I support the idea of, I just hate that I have to stay the extra hour when “normal” full time jobs are 9-5 and the lunch is in that 8 hours…

Sounds like my mom too.

She practiced reiki at one point and wanted to convince me it works by trying it on me. When I said I didn’t feel anything at all her reply was “oh well that’s probably just because you don’t believe in it.”

…I love you mom, but yes that is it and not in the way you think it is lol

I actually forgot that was a thing! I liked the sites that let you actually have a decent bio like plenty of fish and okcupid since I really want to know about the person and not just how attractive they can look in a picture :/

Then okcupid became tinder 2.0 swipe only and pof is apparently trying to become a streaming service…

I have such an easy time on dating sites. If they message me first I know it’s a bot. 100% of the time the next message is either a link or asking if I have some random off site messaging thing they’ll send me a link on.

I guess they see my profile and know think “he’s gotta be desperate, just look at that pathetic fuck.”

“Lol” …

I just had one last week! Ugh just feeling it tighten until my muscles start tearing is the worst… And then I get to explain why I’m limping at work lol

They said serve “on the rocks” so I do.

“we miss you”

HA! Got ya! That’s how I know it’s fake. :P

I like the idea of fabricating it specifically to use on Twitter since Elon is being a piece of shit about it all.

I’m telling it something needs to be chopped in half.

Executives, prices, what’s the difference?

:P

I just went food shopping, I’m now telling the axe what bad things we should do.

On a related note, apparently they’re making chicken out of gold or something because one single breast is $12-$15 now for whatever reason.

“You’ve just got to learn to love, Asafum!”

What did you say to me you fuzzy fuck? You can’t love anything when you loathe existing, when the only thing you want is the sweet release into oblivion. How about you do the world a favor and take me out? Oh is that too harsh for you love bear?

Are you crying? Oh goddamn it I did it again…

Go next door, the Thompsons are good people they’ll give you cookies or something.

If your excuse for keeping this shit and the statues and everything around is “culture”, then your fucking “culture” is nothing more than just being an asshole. That’s it.

As evidence: Their current Messiah. Their humor (always at someone else’s expense). Their obsession with “liberal tears” and doing anything that makes “the left” upset. Their conquest against “woke” (as in: giving a shit about other peoples experience.) etc…

Na, he’s probably like me: completely undesirable.

After about 10 years using dating sites I came to realize how to spot these bots. For me it’s actually really simple, if they message me first they’re a bot.

I haven’t been wrong yet lol

funny how “shit”, “piss”, “fuck”, “cunt”, “cocksucker”, “motherfucker”, and “tits” are almost everyday words now

So much so that there’s a song about it!

This is one of the major reasons I never want to live with a dog. I did once before and it drove me absolutely insane…

It’s also one of the major reasons I’m still single… Every girl I’ve ever read the profile for on dating sites wants a dog so much it reads more like a need. :(