I recommend you do not duckduckgo for that.

Oh yes he duckduckdid.

You duckduckwent.

I hope you have the time of your life in my ass.

You’re gonna need a portal gun or a time machine or some pretty unusual anatomy.

I suspect I’ll regret asking, but what is this?

tax breaks

…and easy, unchallenged legal transfer of assets when they die without having to prove anything to anybody.

You wouldn’t believe how much harder it is for unmarried people when their partner dies. It definitely depends on your legal jurisdiction, but stuff like “We shared everything for decades” holds no water. If it isn’t bought solely in your name, there’s no particular reason why you would inherit it wholesale, and you may need to sell your joint home of thirty years to pay your debt to your partner’s nephews and neices or something if you don’t have a cast iron will and good lawyers.

To get legal rights, you need the relationship to have legal status.

Looks like somebody scored!

1. He HATES that he lost to Biden and so desperately wanted to beat him second time round and now he’ll always have lost to Biden and never won, so he’s really struggling to accept that reality and desperately wants to go back to beating Biden in the polls.
2. This is absolutely how he would behave if he were in Biden’s position right now so he thinks this is plausible and people might believe it.
3. He wouldn’t recognise altruism if it turned up in his house with free burgers every lunchtime singing “Altruism is doing something nice for someone else with nothing in return, nothing in return, nothing in return. Altruism is doing something nice for someone else with nothing in return, nothing in return, nothing in return.” He would like it, and he would tweet about how the hamberder people were good people, great people who know how great trump is, but he wouldn’t understand and wouldn’t learn anything because it’s so alien to his way of thinking. Of course he finds it incomprehensible that Biden might not be seething with rage right now.

True, but if you give your younger friend your bike, saying “Here, have my bike, you’ll do better with it than I will now”, and then publicly praise your friend for how great a bike rider they are, but some weird crazed racist lunatic who hasn’t been able to finish a coherent sentence for years and years rants about how you made the biggest mistake of your life and fantasies about you beating up your young friend for taking your bike, no one has stolen anything.

It was a gentle slap, but it was a slap. Most of us get through the day without slapping kids who we think are cheeky. Mr Erdogan clearly thinks he’s way too important to keep his hands off other people’s kids. He could have just told the kid what he was supposed to do, but he just lashed out. Guy needs to take his self importance down a peg or two. It was undignified and shows he doesn’t have any self moderation. Surrounded by people who always say yes to him no matter what he says, I reckon. He loses respect if he can’t deal with other people in a calm and sane manner. Which other world leaders slap children? None of them. This brings shame on Turkiye because their president can’t moderate his behaviour. The little kid showed more emotional maturity and self control in public than Mr Erdogan.

Not agreeing with them, but I can tell they’re talking about staying together “for the kids”.

May your upvotes be many, your memes evergreen, your code inspired and your bugs few, easy to find and to fix. May your managers be sane, rational, realistic and fair. And may your preferred team win when you really want them to. Unless they’re playing mine, of course, in which case you’re on your own, buddy.

And now you made me snort in public!

Yours is my favourite of all the answers I got.

I don’t understand why this is a shitpost? I mean, other than it’s shit, and here it is being posted. Shouldn’t a shitpost have some sort of intelligence or self-awareness or humor or something? I don’t get it.

Oh me too, me too.

This is weird for me - you disagree with each other, but I very much agree with you both!

Yes, I find some republicans really annoying with their “I never thought it would be MY loved one that got mistreated” and “I just can’t understand why my republican friends haven’t realised that gun controls are a good idea like I did when my kids nearly got shot at school last month”.

But on the other hand, there’s hope that people can change their minds and suddenly see humanity where they were previously demonizing, turn around and start advocating for a bit more love and kindness in the world.

You’re showing your age here I think. If Mr hands had intestines that were straight like this it might not have killed him.

Pete fucks incredibly hung horses?!