You have never cleaned bathrooms if you wonder about the source of this sign.

You’ve never worked retail, have you?

My friend works at a fast food place. You wouldn’t believe some of the stuff they’ve had to deal with. People are disgusting.

The problem is the sort of person this applies to will respond:

“That sign won’t stop me because I can’t read!”

I was in a large open plan office a decade ago with a density clearly higher than the 3 cubicles in the toilet facilities could handle. Somebody with little regard for basic human decency, murdered the shit fairy and their family in two of the 3 cubicles. Words cannot describe the scene that greeted a prospective cubicle user. Imagine 300kg black forest gateaux with pieces of corn distributed throughout being put through a wood chipper. It was quite frankly both terrifyingly grotesque and strangely skillful. I called property services who to their credit promptly sent up somebody to investigate. I saw them enter, loudly say “Fuck their mother in the arse!” and leave dry heaving into their cleaning cart. Photos were taken and emailed around to all male employees stating that the “…rancid fecal matter will be genetically tested to determine age, race and dietary preference of the individual involved!!!” Total bullshit of course, funny as hell though. We had our suspects but nobody fess’d up. I faked having a colostomy bag after that just so I could use the ambulant toilets. But that’s a story for another time.

In my experience, the “NO” figure should be bent over a bit more in order to project onto the wall behind the toilet as well as the ceiling above. No better memory of working retail than going up to my boss and explaining why I needed to know where the spare ceiling tiles were.